June 2017 – Time to Resume in June…..

I apologize for the radio silence the last several weeks. I have been an emotional mess the last several weeks but feel like I am finally starting to pull it together where I can start to look at stocks again with focus.

To understand the close ties we had though, you have to understand our back story. You see, Jim (Littlebass) was more than my best friend. He was my only friend and family to me for 10 years. Jim’s parents divorced in his early 20’s and he moved a couple of towns over to live with his mom. Ironically, I ended up moving into the same town to live with my grandmother during summer breaks from NIU. I stayed with my grandmother because my parents moved out of state while I started to attend NIU. After graduating, I continued to live with my grandmother rather than moving to North Carolina.

Rather than traveling a couple towns over to hang out with our high school buddies every time we wanted to go out, Jim and I hung out by ourselves because of that distance. Then Jim’s mom passed when he was mid 20’s. At that point it was just him and I left to tackle the world together. We developed a friendship bond that lasted over 30 years. People most times referred to us as the “odd couple” because of our polar differences at things. But those differences also helped us to never get bored of each other. We hung out 6 days a week for 10 years straight.

I saw him battle and beat cancer when he was 26 years old. I introduced him to his future wife. I helped him get a job at Orkin pest control. There isn’t a significant milestone in either of our lives that the other was not a part of.

Trying to find closure the last couple of weeks has been the most difficult part. I have been keeping busy since his death by helping his sister plan the memorial we had for Jim, helping Jim’s brother John clean out Jim’s apartment and load a trailer to haul stuff back to Florida. For a few weeks I was trying to find a home for Jim’s dog (an older Weimriner). But Spencer (Jim’s dog) must have pulled all the right heart strings as Jim’s brother Johnny decided to also take the dog back with him to Florida. I am happy that Spencer (a senior dog) will be able to retire in Florida. I took one final nap with his dog yesterday as well.

The final clean-out of Jim’s apartment was last night and John is headed back to Florida today. There is nothing left for me to keep busy with, however trying to find closure is extremely difficult. There is not a single thing I can do to take my mind off the subject matter. If I drive, I see the chip in my windshield from our last Lake of the Ozarks trip last year. I see the remodeling in my home every day that he helped me with.

Fishing sure is going to be lonely by myself….

While they say that time heals wounds, this gash will leave a scar for life….

I will be attempting to review charts again this weekend and start writing articles this week. I feel like I can at least focus enough to accomplish that now, something that I haven’t ben able to do for the last several weeks.